Blackness
NARRATOR
Last week on SWFS 4 Life
Fade in clip from episode two of Erin and Jam at the coffee shop.
NARRATOR
Erin and Jam’s plans of moving out on their own are ruined.
Cut to clip from episode two with Erin saying “No Kleen Sweep no apartment”
NARRATOR
But salvation arrives from a most unexpected source.
Cut to clip from episode two with Tia saying “you guys can come live with me”
NARRATOR
Erin and Jam have a new apartment and a new roommate. What more new is in store for our SWF’s?
Cut to extended clip starting with Erin saying “walk-in closets Jam. Walk-in closets.” Erin exits the frame followed shortly by Jam. The camera stays on the front door of the coffee shop. A beat later Tia emerges from the coffee shop. She pulls out a phone and hits a number on speed dial.
TIA
(into phone) Hi. Carmen. Tia. You and your sister need to move out. Today. Okay. Bye.
Tia hangs up the phone and starts clapping.
Cut to SWFS 4 Life theme song
Scene 2
Int. Tia’s condo. It is fully furnished and lavish in every way. Erin, Jam and Tia are standing in front of a large window that has a spectacular view of the city of Chicago and Lake Michigan.
ERIN
This place is amazing.
TIA
I know right. It used to be my parents’ place but then my mom left my dad and my dad got a new girlfriend but she was all like “I don’t want to live in the same place as your wife” so they got a place across town and Dad gave this place to me because he didn’t want to sell it just in case Debs left him like mom did.
ERIN
So we’re outtie if they break up?
TIA
Yeah. But they’ll never break up. Debs gave Dad “The Crawl.”
JAM
Sweet!
Erin and Jam cross from the window and sit on the couch. Tia sits in the loveseat adjacent to the couch. Jam puts his feet up on the coffee table. Erin slaps his leg and he puts his feet back on the floor.
TIA
So. The condo is paid for and the cable and the internet come with the building. So, I figure you two pay the light bill and we all chip in for food and household crap.
JAM
Deal.
ERIN
Keys?
TIA
They are on the way.
The sound of a buzzer fills the room. Tia jumps up.
TIA
They’re here.
Tia goes to the intercom by the front door and pushes a button then waits by the front door.
JAM
(to Erin) What room do you want?
ERIN
I don’t care.
JAM
Good. Cause I want the room with the view of the lake.
ERIN
Oh. I want that room.
JAM
I thought you don’t care
ERIN
I don’t.
JAM
J-M-J. Okay, you can…
A hard knock at the door silences Jam. He and Erin watch as Tia opens the door. At the door is Carmen. Carmen is very upset.
TIA
(bubbly) Hi Carmen. How are you?
CARMEN
Whatever. Tia. Here’s your keys?
Carmen hands Tia two sets of keys.
TIA
Thank you.
CARMEN
I left something in what used to be my room. Can I go get it?
TIA
Sure
Carmen enters. Tia closes the door. Carmen walks past Erin and Jam without speaking or even looking their way. Tia, Erin and Jam wait in silence. A couple beats later Carmen appears holding a large bright yellow banana shaped pillow. She stops in front of Erin and Jam.
CARMEN
(cordially) I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m Carmen.
ERIN
Hi Carmen. I’m Erin and this is Jam.
CARMEN
(confused) Erin and Jam? From Kleen Sweep?
ERIN
Well, yeah. Only we don’t really work…
CARMEN
(at Tia) What the hell are they doing here?
TIA
They’re my new roommates.
CARMEN
(yelling) What.
JAM
She said we’re…
CARMEN
(to Jam) I heard her.
JAM
Oh.
Erin and Jam exchange a look.
CARMEN
(to Tia) You kicked me and Melissa out so that they could move in.
TIA
(cowering) Kinda.
CARMEN
Kinda. Mel and I just moved back in with our grandmother Tia. I’d say that’s more than kinda.
TIA
Your grandmother’s place is nice.
CARMEN
Yeah. If you like the smell of cats and depression.
TIA
I’m sorry, Carmen. But my friends needed a place to stay.
CARMEN
Your friends. Tia you said they hate you.
TIA
I said I thought they hate me. And clearly, I was wrong. They’re here aren’t they?
CARMEN
They’re here cause of the condo.
TIA
They’re here cause they’re my friends.
CARMEN
You stupid bitch.
Tia gasps and burst into tears. Erin and Jam leap up from the couch. They look at Carmen. Carmen is looking at Tia with a smug smile on her face. They look at Tia who is now sobbing into her hands. They look back at Carmen.
ERIN
Jam. (pointing to Tia) Hug her.
Jam crosses to Tia and opens his arms which are immediately filled with Tia’s entire being.
ERIN
Carmen. The only stupid bitch here is me. Because if I was smart, I’d leap over this coffee table and beat your ass.
Carmen is taken aback. Confused and scared. Erin crosses to the front door and opens it.
ERIN
Now. I think it’s time for you and your banana to get the hell out of our condo.
Carmen exits and Erin slams the door behind her.
ERIN
(to Tia) Did you really put her out for us.
Tia still holding Jam lifts her head and nods in the affirmative.
ERIN
You’re a good friend, Tia. Damn good friend.
Tia lets go of Jam and goes to give Erin a hug. Erin extends her arm and stops Tia before she can hug her.
ERIN
No.
TIA
Okay.
Tia turns around and hugs Jam again. Erin exits the frame. Camera stays on Jam and Tia as they embrace. After a couple of beats, Jam release his hold on Tia. She continues to hug him. A couple more beats.
JAM
Tia.
TIA
Yes, Jam.
JAM
You can let go now.
TIA
Okay.
Fade out. Cut to
Scene 3
Int. SWFS condo
Erin, Tia and Jam are on the couch. They are drinking wine. Tia is sitting in the middle.
TIA
I’m so happy you’re here. We’re going to have so much fun together.
ERIN
Great. Tia.
TIA
And just so you know. I have your backs.
JAM
Shut up.
Erin and Jam get up and exit the frame leaving Tia sitting on the couch smiling.
FADE TO BLACK
ROLL CREDITS
Last week on SWFS 4 Life
Fade in clip from episode two of Erin and Jam at the coffee shop.
NARRATOR
Erin and Jam’s plans of moving out on their own are ruined.
Cut to clip from episode two with Erin saying “No Kleen Sweep no apartment”
NARRATOR
But salvation arrives from a most unexpected source.
Cut to clip from episode two with Tia saying “you guys can come live with me”
NARRATOR
Erin and Jam have a new apartment and a new roommate. What more new is in store for our SWF’s?
Cut to extended clip starting with Erin saying “walk-in closets Jam. Walk-in closets.” Erin exits the frame followed shortly by Jam. The camera stays on the front door of the coffee shop. A beat later Tia emerges from the coffee shop. She pulls out a phone and hits a number on speed dial.
TIA
(into phone) Hi. Carmen. Tia. You and your sister need to move out. Today. Okay. Bye.
Tia hangs up the phone and starts clapping.
Cut to SWFS 4 Life theme song
Scene 2
Int. Tia’s condo. It is fully furnished and lavish in every way. Erin, Jam and Tia are standing in front of a large window that has a spectacular view of the city of Chicago and Lake Michigan.
ERIN
This place is amazing.
TIA
I know right. It used to be my parents’ place but then my mom left my dad and my dad got a new girlfriend but she was all like “I don’t want to live in the same place as your wife” so they got a place across town and Dad gave this place to me because he didn’t want to sell it just in case Debs left him like mom did.
ERIN
So we’re outtie if they break up?
TIA
Yeah. But they’ll never break up. Debs gave Dad “The Crawl.”
JAM
Sweet!
Erin and Jam cross from the window and sit on the couch. Tia sits in the loveseat adjacent to the couch. Jam puts his feet up on the coffee table. Erin slaps his leg and he puts his feet back on the floor.
TIA
So. The condo is paid for and the cable and the internet come with the building. So, I figure you two pay the light bill and we all chip in for food and household crap.
JAM
Deal.
ERIN
Keys?
TIA
They are on the way.
The sound of a buzzer fills the room. Tia jumps up.
TIA
They’re here.
Tia goes to the intercom by the front door and pushes a button then waits by the front door.
JAM
(to Erin) What room do you want?
ERIN
I don’t care.
JAM
Good. Cause I want the room with the view of the lake.
ERIN
Oh. I want that room.
JAM
I thought you don’t care
ERIN
I don’t.
JAM
J-M-J. Okay, you can…
A hard knock at the door silences Jam. He and Erin watch as Tia opens the door. At the door is Carmen. Carmen is very upset.
TIA
(bubbly) Hi Carmen. How are you?
CARMEN
Whatever. Tia. Here’s your keys?
Carmen hands Tia two sets of keys.
TIA
Thank you.
CARMEN
I left something in what used to be my room. Can I go get it?
TIA
Sure
Carmen enters. Tia closes the door. Carmen walks past Erin and Jam without speaking or even looking their way. Tia, Erin and Jam wait in silence. A couple beats later Carmen appears holding a large bright yellow banana shaped pillow. She stops in front of Erin and Jam.
CARMEN
(cordially) I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m Carmen.
ERIN
Hi Carmen. I’m Erin and this is Jam.
CARMEN
(confused) Erin and Jam? From Kleen Sweep?
ERIN
Well, yeah. Only we don’t really work…
CARMEN
(at Tia) What the hell are they doing here?
TIA
They’re my new roommates.
CARMEN
(yelling) What.
JAM
She said we’re…
CARMEN
(to Jam) I heard her.
JAM
Oh.
Erin and Jam exchange a look.
CARMEN
(to Tia) You kicked me and Melissa out so that they could move in.
TIA
(cowering) Kinda.
CARMEN
Kinda. Mel and I just moved back in with our grandmother Tia. I’d say that’s more than kinda.
TIA
Your grandmother’s place is nice.
CARMEN
Yeah. If you like the smell of cats and depression.
TIA
I’m sorry, Carmen. But my friends needed a place to stay.
CARMEN
Your friends. Tia you said they hate you.
TIA
I said I thought they hate me. And clearly, I was wrong. They’re here aren’t they?
CARMEN
They’re here cause of the condo.
TIA
They’re here cause they’re my friends.
CARMEN
You stupid bitch.
Tia gasps and burst into tears. Erin and Jam leap up from the couch. They look at Carmen. Carmen is looking at Tia with a smug smile on her face. They look at Tia who is now sobbing into her hands. They look back at Carmen.
ERIN
Jam. (pointing to Tia) Hug her.
Jam crosses to Tia and opens his arms which are immediately filled with Tia’s entire being.
ERIN
Carmen. The only stupid bitch here is me. Because if I was smart, I’d leap over this coffee table and beat your ass.
Carmen is taken aback. Confused and scared. Erin crosses to the front door and opens it.
ERIN
Now. I think it’s time for you and your banana to get the hell out of our condo.
Carmen exits and Erin slams the door behind her.
ERIN
(to Tia) Did you really put her out for us.
Tia still holding Jam lifts her head and nods in the affirmative.
ERIN
You’re a good friend, Tia. Damn good friend.
Tia lets go of Jam and goes to give Erin a hug. Erin extends her arm and stops Tia before she can hug her.
ERIN
No.
TIA
Okay.
Tia turns around and hugs Jam again. Erin exits the frame. Camera stays on Jam and Tia as they embrace. After a couple of beats, Jam release his hold on Tia. She continues to hug him. A couple more beats.
JAM
Tia.
TIA
Yes, Jam.
JAM
You can let go now.
TIA
Okay.
Fade out. Cut to
Scene 3
Int. SWFS condo
Erin, Tia and Jam are on the couch. They are drinking wine. Tia is sitting in the middle.
TIA
I’m so happy you’re here. We’re going to have so much fun together.
ERIN
Great. Tia.
TIA
And just so you know. I have your backs.
JAM
Shut up.
Erin and Jam get up and exit the frame leaving Tia sitting on the couch smiling.
FADE TO BLACK
ROLL CREDITS