Seth K. Thomas

BLACKNESS In the darkness we hear the Barista from last episode. BARISTA I find that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new. Cut to Int. Jam’s bedroom. Night. Jam and the barista are asleep in Jam’s bed. Beat of silence. Followed by fifteen more beats of silence as we watch Jam and the barista sleep. Boom. Erin busts into Jam’s room. ERIN Jam. Jam. The barista doesn’t move. Jam wakes violently and sits up. He sees Erin. JAM What. What. Erin. What. ERIN We have a problem. JAM What. ERIN Helena is dead. JAM What. ERIN Helena is dead. Deceased. Donezo. JAM This is horrible. ERIN I know. I’m bidding on shoes tomorrow. Cut to SWFS 4 Life Theme Song Cut to Int. Condo. Day. Erin and Jam are in pajama suits. Erin is stretched out on the couch. Jam is in the loveseat. Both have mugs of coffee. ERIN I wonder which one sent the messages? JAM It could have been any one of them. ERIN How many are there? JAM Twenty-three. ERIN Have you met them all? JAM Every one of them. Tia e...

BLACKNESS SWFS 4 Life Refrain Int. Tia’s grandmother’s sitting room. Tia, Erin and Jam are sitting on the couch. They are covered in jewelry. Each one is wearing at least ten gold necklaces. The necklaces range in style and size. They are wearing rings on every finger of both hands; some fingers have two. Erin and Tia are wearing tiaras and large diamond earrings. Jam is wearing a tennis headband with diamonds in it. On the coffee table is a large platter of bacon. The three are eating bacon. After a beat of watching them chew their bacon… ERIN God, I love bacon. TIA Me too. My grandmother would die if she knew I was in her house eating bacon. JAM She already died. TIA Well, she would turn over in her grave. JAM If in fact, she was in a grave. TIA Well, she would… ERIN She would roll out of the bed and hit the floor if she knew we were eating bacon. A loud thud is heard coming from the room just above Erin, Jam and Tia. The three look up at the ceiling. Erin eats another piece of bacon...

BLACKNESS NARRATOR Last week on SWFS 4 Life. Cut to clip from episode 7 of Erin and Jam at the bridal shower dinner. NARRATOR Erin gets kicked out of Chelsea’s wedding. Cut to clip from episode 7 beginning with Chelsea saying “I think the two of you should leave” ending with Chelsea saying, “Go. Away.” NARRATOR Jam reveals that he has a secret. Cut to clip from episode 7 beginning with Erin saying, “What did you do?” ending with Jam saying, “No, you really don’t.” NARRATOR What new and exciting adventures are in store for our SWFS? Cut to extended clip from episode 7 beginning with Erin yelling, “What did you do?” There is no answer from Jam. Erin picks up a magazine from the coffee table and starts to read it. (beat) The front door opens and Tia rushes in and goes straight for the couch. TIA Hi Erin ERIN Hey Tia. Tia reaches under the center cushion of the couch and pulls out the Kahr K9. She tucks it in the small of her back, covers it with her t-shirt then heads towards the front do...

Blackness NARRATOR Last week on SWFS 4 Life Cut to clip from episode 6 of Erin and Jam in massage chairs. NARRATOR Jam gets a text from a girl in his past. Cut to clip from episode 6 starting with Erin asking “why does she want to be friends now” ending with Nail Tech 1 saying, “she crazy.” NARRATOR Tia has strange company with an even stranger talent. Cut to clip from episode 6 beginning with Chad saying, “I got an audition for puppetry of the penis” ending with Tia saying, “and he was going to show me his audition piece.” NARRATOR What new and exciting adventures are in store for our SWFS? Cut to extended clip from episode 6 beginning with Chad sitting down on the loveseat. After Chad says “tah dah” Erin, Jam and Tia are speechless. They stare at Chad. Chad stares back. There are a couple beats of silence then… several more beats of silence. Then… Cut to SWFS 4 Life theme song. Cut to Int. Condo. Afternoon Erin and Jam are sitting on the couch. Erin is wearing a tank top, sweats and ...