The homie created this challenge on IG regarding phone usage. The challenge today was to "feel" myself reaching for my phone and to be aware of the feeling. I immediately text her to say this challenge is fucking with me.
I am the absolute worst. I grab my phone so frequently that it's probably not even a decision anymore. Like the reach just happens and before I am even aware the phone is in my hand I'm looking at something. Anything.
I don't know what I think about the dopamine hit theory. I mean I'm no scientist so maybe it exists. I think for me it's the connectivity. The ability to connect from a distance is and has always been the allure of social media for me. I don't follow a lot of brands nor celebrities nor accounts that are hubs for videos. I mostly follow friends and people I think are my friends.
But it's not all social media. I do everything on my phone. I email. I check my stocks on Robinhood. I play mad games. I listen to music and meditations on my phone and of course I text like a MF on my phone.
(I just reached for that bitch. Like just now!)
I don't really care about the science or the reasoning for that matter. I am really just "feeling" myself reach for the phone all the time and I'm a tad disgusted how it feels. Like I reach and realize I'm reaching and I pull back and there's a sensation that runs through my body and I'm like DAMN!
I wonder if I wrote every time I reached how much writing I would do?
I wonder.